Final thoughts on ‘Being poor…’ and this viral age in which we live

I fear this may be a long one….

This evening I returned home from work shortly before 5pm. I am blessed to live 5 miles from where I work, so commuting is such a breeze. I have had the other end of the spectrum, where my commute is an hour, and this is much, much better!

Today was  a fairly short workday for me, having arrived at 6:30am and finishing up at 4:30pm. Many days I arrive at 5am and stay through until at least 4:30pm. I’m also known to go in on weekends to catch up and work from home when necessary. I am NOT complaining….I absolutely LOVE what I do and at 45, fully appreciate the amount of my life spent getting to this position where I actually look forward to going to work every day! It’s been a long journey, with the inevitable twists and turns and forks in the road. But I am happy the last two and a half years where I ended up, even though I am paid at least 30% less than market value because I work for a small company in a small town.

I stuck around work a little later in order to call my best friend. He is dying of cancer. Sometimes I put off calling him because it makes me so very sad, but that is so very selfish of me. This afternoon his wife had to go to her very senior mothers and take her to the hospital and she had asked me to check up on him. I asked if I could bring him over some dinner, which he steadfastly declined as I knew he would. he said he was going to bed. It wasn’t even 5pm yet. He told me he just wished that this ordeal was over with.

That sucks.

It really, truly does.

So then it was home for me. It gets dark so early this time of year, and that can be a bit depressing sometimes. Up the stairs I come and after dumping my work bag I check the woodstove. There are enough coals left over from last nights fire that the kindling flames up almost instantly, so at least that will be easy enough. While the fire gets up to snuff I turn on the furnace for a bit, a greedy little indulgence that I sometimes allow myself. Living alone does have its advantages; no one complains if the house is too cold or if I leave the lights off. You see, I am on ‘time of day’ metering for the electricity, so it’s kind of a game with me to see how low I can keep the utility bill.

Something that has weighed heavy on my mind this weekend is the blog post that I tripped over very early on Saturday morning on Huffington Post entitled “This is why poor peoples bad decisions make perfect sense”.  It was written by Linda Walter Tirado, a woman living in Utah.

The article goes on, in some detail, to explain why she, as a person living in poverty with her veteran husband raising two children, has made some of the ‘bad’ decisions that are so often attributed to poor people. The article has gone, to say the least, viral.It has touched many peoples hearts, mine being one of them. Her message resonated with me in a very personal way. i couldn’t wait to show my girlfriend the article. She is raising two daughters on her own, and she works so very hard but like many, struggles from paycheck to paycheck. After reading the article to her, I decided to go to Mrs(?) Tirados Gofund me webpage and donate $10 to her. She was seeking donations in order to quit one of her two jobs and use the extra time to write a book on poverty, from the trenches so to speak. I, like many others, thought that this is exactly what was needed. I was proud to donate, even though it was a small amount.

I kept checking back through the day to see how she was doing in reaching her goal. Early saturday morning she was already up over $20,o00 on a goal of $25,000.

Then, suddenly, the goal changed to $29,500.

Ok, I thought. She is overwhelmed by the quick response and is just making sure she has enough to do it right.

Then the goal changed again. To $39,500.

I started to get an uneasy feeling.

I started to ‘google’ Linda Tirado.

I found other blog posts. I found out that she had posted about wanting to write a book back in 2011 about being a political activist. I found out that she had met President Obama ‘several’ times and had even ‘broken bread’ with him. I found out that she was heavily involved in student politics at a university in Utah.

Then, from her own update on the Gofund me page, i found out that she had went to private schools as a child. By her own accounts she has an above average IQ, born out I guess by her graduation from high school at age 16. I found out that the events she had previously portrayed were not actually happening to her right now, but had happened over the course of her life. That they had ‘been taken out of context’.

The taken out of context comment troubled me, as the only context the reader had was the one she herself gave in writing the account in the first place.

She asserted that she only had three hours sleep a night, which under scrutiny, would seem to leave precious little time to blog. I know this to be true from experience!

There were holes appearing in her story. Her stories were beginning to take on multiple timelines. She mentions that her parents (grandparents?) gave her and her husband a trailer to live in, and then ‘set them up in a house’. I’m not clear on what that actually means.

I started sifting through the comments on her Gofund me page and the original article on Huffington Post. I was not the only one having doubts. people were raising legitimate questions. her supporters, and there are many of them, labeled anyone who asked a question as ‘haters’. Well, that just didn’t wash with me.

While I was doing this ‘research’, the goal of her fundraising was raised to $55,000!

Well….what the hell?

This seemed like way more than what she needed to accomplish what she was looking to do. I was becoming somewhat suspicious of the whole thing. I do not think she did this maliciously, not for one second. but, I think as it went viral, she saw that she could get more and went for it. i was surprised by how many people left comments urging her to get every dollar she could.

This just seemed wrong to me at the most basic level.

By Sunday the contributions were starting to slow down. She had raised close to $30,000 on Saturday, but just over $5,000 all day Sunday. I don’t think she understood that angle of it. late Sunday night she once again boosted the goal.

To $100,000!!!

She explained it in a very lengthy post which accompanied the increase.

“Right now, I have the ear of a lot of very talented people. They can help me do the thing properly. And so I am raising the cap to $100,000, and if this insanity doesn’t stop and we get there, I will make it $150K. I will keep raising it by unthinkable amounts until it stops. People are giving me these resources of their own free will, and they are doing it because they believe that I can do good.”

She went on to explain that she now wants to start a non-profit and advocate for people in poverty.

Well, on its’ own, I think that’s wonderful.

But what happened to the book?

Greed happened to the book.

I read her story, I donated to her so that she could devote time to writing a book about her experiences.

It was at this point that i send Lind Tirado a personal e-mail asking for my $10 back.

This is where I will give her credit. She responded quickly to me, explained herself, and then told me that she had sent my personal info to her friend Crystal, who it turns out has been hired by Linda to handle these type of things. Her friend (assistant?) did contact me, and in due course I was indeed issued a refund.

By the way, according to a post by Crystal, she is being paid minimum wage by Linda to work for her. isn’t that interesting? How about a ‘living wage’ in true poverty advocacy?

Before you think that i myself am an uncharitable man…. I sponsor a young girl in Ghana through World Vision. I like to donate to Smiletrain.org, which fixes cleft pallets in the third world (you want to change someones life in a HUGE way? Give these guys $240 and make a difference!). I give blood every chance I get. I have helped friend financially even though the end result meant adding tens of thousands (literally) to my debt. I give KIVA gift certificates as Christmas presents.

I sold my old car for crap last year (and replaced it with a 1999 model!) and took half the money and went shopping for the local SPCA. It was FUN! I loved being able to do that!

My point is not to fish for compliments or say ‘look at me’… just to point out that I am not ‘cheap’ and I do like to help when and where I can. I am not rich. I work very hard for the money I get, but I do believe in ‘paying it forward.’

I know what it’s like to be poor.

My family moved a lot when I was young. I went to seven different public schools and 3 different high schools. My father was always chasing his dream of owning his own business. he succeeded, for a few years. then came the recession in the early 1980’s. Interest rates of 20%. My parents lost everything.

It wasn’t the first time. A few years earlier our house burned down.

My parents started over.

They lost their business, their cars, our house, had to declare bankruptcy (which in those days was akin to being a Leper).

They started over.

I remember wanting to go on a scout camping trip. I REALLY wanted to go, but you had to bring your own food for the weekend. All we had for me to bring was a loaf of bread and a jar of home made jam. I took it and went on the camping trip.  It’s true when they say that kids can be so cruel.

I had to wear my fathers work pants to school because we had no money for clothes. My feet were coming through the bottom of my sneakers.

Every year on my birthday my grandfather would give me a $20 bill. From the time I was 13 until I was 18 I just handed it over to my mother. Cheerfully.

When I went off to college (with loans and a grant) I immediately got a part time job working midnights at a gas station. Even though i was living in another city, I used to give my parents money for groceries.

I dropped out of college in the first year. I was studying Journalism, and being very principled, did not appreciate that all I was being taught was how to lie, how to make any quote say what I wanted it to say by taking it out of context. My grant became a loan. I paid it all back, with interest.

I fell in love and got married by twenty. My parents by this time had moved (chasing larger opportunities) 1700 miles away. With no education and no experience, I worked a series of dead end menial minimum wage jobs. But I worked hard, and caught a few lucky breaks. Even though I am not educated, i now have a career which I am very good at and proud of.

But I know what it’s like to eat cornflakes without milk (the trick is to pour water on them, then drain it off…that way the sugar still dissolves!).

I know what it’s like to eat a ketchup sandwich and pretend it is pizza.

I still remember the first steak I ever ate, because I was an adult.

This is why I asked for my $10 back.

I know how important a lucky break can be. Linda Tirado got her lucky break when her original goal was reached. Had she looked at some of the other pages on Gofund me, she would have seen people in the most dire of situations literally reduced to tears as they begged for gas money to be able to get a life saving operation. She would have seen people fighting cancer who desperately need a break. She would have seen people who just need help, NOW!

She might have also seen the couple who are getting married and would like complete strangers to give them $25,000 for the wedding and the honeymoon. Isn’t that audacious?

Sadly, when Linda Tirado raised her goal to $100,000 and changed the entire purpose of why she wanted this money, in my mind, she went into the same category as the couple who want me to pay for their honeymoon. Incidentally, my own honeymoon was a day trip to an amusement park and we had an AWESOME time!

I sincerely hope that she does write the book. I will probably even buy a copy if it does appear in print.

But she should have realized that when you become entranced by the thoughts of more money, and bigger goals, it changes the very nature of what made your story so compelling in the first place.

 

 

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47 thoughts on “Final thoughts on ‘Being poor…’ and this viral age in which we live

  1. tinashang says:

    I appreciate you being so candid about your own situation and the way the evolution of Mrs. Tirado’s viral post and subsequent gofundme campaign made you feel.

    Like you I hope that she will take advantage of this opportunity and do good things with it.

  2. Raw Discourse says:

    ” After a few thousand people had read it, Tirado e-mailed Jessica Coen, the editor of Gawker’s sister site Jezebel, and suggested that she highlight it on that site’s front page, which she did.”
    Taken from http://sync.democraticunderground.com/10024099690#post4

    She also did a video interview with Huffington Post http://nextcity.org/equityfactor/entry/interview-linda-tirado-tktk

    Some of things she said in it bothered me too.

    • Hi Tina!
      The Jezebel item points to self promotion. Viral is one thing, but I suppose it helps if you ‘push’ it along?
      I saw the interview on Huffington Post. I kind of wish that she had not done it, because of all the things that have come out and continue to come out.
      But I am far more disappointed with the likes of Huffington Post and the LA Times and Politix, etc. NO ONE has bothered to check….but I’m betting sooner or later, someone like Fox News will?
      So many people legitimately need real help, now. This just takes away from all of that.
      Oh…Happy Thanksgiving to you!

      • Raw Discourse says:

        I know I am also afraid of what may come out and I also have had those niggling doubts because of the promotion on Jezebel and Huffington Post. It just seems too good to be true to the skeptic in me. Still I keep hoping for the best. If growing up privileged and then falling on hard times opened her eyes to the plight of the poor that is a good thing even if people don’t think she could be qualified as being poor. If she can take this and her connections and notoriety that work towards changes that will help EVERYONE in poverty that is great.

      • Raw Discourse says:

        Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

      • Pay It Forward says:

        I can’t believe FOX News hasn’t sent someone to Utah to blow this story apart….

        The reason that none of the major news sites covered her raising the money last weekend? Probably because none of them could verify her story. Sites like HuffPo seem to just print whatever they want. call a Skype or a phone call “fact checking,” and delete the blogs without incident when the story a proven false.

        http://mynews13.com/content/news/cfnews13/news/article.html/content/news/articles/cfn/2013/8/6/mom_behind_viral_wal.html

        I’m completely disappointed with the LA Times….

  3. Pay It Forward says:

    I don’t believe that anyone is “working for her” and that she will “do good things” with the money. The woman is a fraud, through and through.
    Her essay is a middle class white girl’s fantasy of what poverty must be like (and I know because I was a middle class white girl who thought the same things until poverty happened to me), and she defrauded each and every one of you good people.
    Find proof here. https://twitter.com/PayItForward321
    Please share it.
    And please get your money back.

    • Ravenpaine says:

      I am not certain what your angle is, but you are doing a lovely job of omni-presently spreading it on every blog, news source, and comment stream you can find. It is ridiculous and inaccurate and clearly the product of a person trained in analysis and synthesis by American high school debate teams, but it is still impressive in its volume.

  4. Raw Discourse says:

    I do believe her when she says she fell on hard times because of poor choices and I cannot fault her for it. We are all human and I’ve made my fair of bad choices in life. I think the reason some people got upset is because they feel that she lied or manipulated the situation by not being forthright in the beginning, especially with the gofundme account.

    I don’t know that she was deliberately misleading people or if she just didn’t think that she needed to explain the post. Originally it was posted as a sort of personal rant with no intention of reaching so many people or going viral so I can see how that could be possible.

    I honestly don’t know what to think. I do not want to pass judgment on her or make accusations because I don’t know all of the circumstances so I just kind of have to take it at face value for the time being.

    Even though I don’t see eye to eye with her on a lot of things within this issue if we all work toward a common goal then we should. I guess we will just have to see how things play out. =)

    • Tina…I so love your optimistic outlook….and yet very pragmatic. People like yourself give me hope….and I mean that.
      🙂

      • Raw Discourse says:

        Thanks, but really is just a survival mechanism for me. I have to stay optimistic, believe in the good in people and in life otherwise the whole thing is just too depressing some days.

        I am not always pragmatic sometimes I let emotions rule just anyone else. But I do make a concerted effort to try and take a step back to remind myself that there may be circumstances at play that I am not privy to and that it is not my place to judge. Some days that is easier said than done. =)

        I hope you have had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day.

      • Tina…keep on being you! 🙂
        We had our Thanksgiving back on your Columbus Day…but thank you!
        I do have much to be thankful for, no matter what day it is!

      • Raw Discourse says:

        Thank you and you are right we need to be thankful for what we have not matter what day it is. =)

  5. Pay It Forward says:

    I found her original essay to be emotionally manipulative, subtly asking for sympathy about her hard life when, if you analyze what she says she has, she’s actually very lucky. For example, in the piece she mentions:

    –Being a college student. That’s extraordinarily expensive.
    –Driving to work. She has a car. Many cannot afford a car and take the bus.
    –Being married. That means she has help with her children.

    Before I began to believe that this was a hoax, I was floored by the audacity of the article: simply put, of course it’s hard to be a college student, a parent, and a working mother at the same. It’s the sacrifice that *many* older students make.

    I was also floored by the sympathy she was receiving: she had just written an article that used her supposed financial situation to justify poor health, diet, financial, and life choices–and to explain away those same choices among other poor people. Isn’t that just a little wrong to assume that you’re the spokesperson for an entire economic group, and isn’t it slightly patronizing to claim that all people in said economic group act a certain way not because of free will, but because of their financial situation?

    Regardless, what she asked for from her GoFundMe was money to support her writing career. (Again, more audacity). Funds to take months at a time off your day job to write? This is a luxury that few writers–even successful published authors–are afforded. The fact that she didn’t ask for money to feed her family, to pay for her studies, but to write? Alarm bells….which only grew louder as she continued to raise that GoFundMe limit, slipping in the “Okay, so I’m not really poor” disclaimer in–conveniently buried in pages of rambling prose that no one bothered to read–after she has raised $55,000.

    Now that all of the evidence directly contradicting her story has surfaced, I hope with all of my heart that people get their money back, especially those who were poor and donated to her out of solidarity. If there is a lesson to be learned here, I would say it’s two part:

    –Give donations through a self-auditing charitable organization (as you do through your sponsor child in World Vision)

    –Always read the fine print….

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts in this blog post…I really appreciated your candid and honest account of your personal experience with poverty. As someone who also went through poverty, I could relate.

    Best.

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw the glaring inconsistencies!
      Thank you very much for your kind words!
      🙂

      • Pay it forward says:

        Great blog you’ve got!
        Happy thanksgiving. 🙂

      • Ravenpaine says:

        There are no glaring inconsistencies you are just not good with putting all of the pieces of a narrative together when they are not given to you chronologically. Personally? I blame Disney.

      • Donna Gratehouse says:

        Those are not inconsistencies. Lots of poor people own cars and homes, attend college, and are married. Knowing those things about a person tells you little about their overall financial circumstances. PayItForward has been stalking and defaming Linda Tirado all over the internet and I find it remarkable that she, of all people, would engage in armchair psychoanalyzing Ms. Tirado. PayItForward is the one who needs help.

  6. Ravenpaine says:

    It is no wonder that the poor remain poor. I say this because the ingrained, ingrown, inbred need to attack and be distrustful and to dutifully vilify leave out so much of the compassion that otherwise should be held so dear.
    A nice thing happens to a stranger and they must be lying. A nice thing happens to a close friend or relative and it must be karma coming round for them.
    If only GoFundMe, as a site, didn’t have a limit but allowed you to simply put up an account and whatever ended up there is what ended up in there then the whole fraud/greed aspects of this ‘discussion’ would melt away. If I were to offer you $1k to help you but suddenly decided I was willing to give you $2k, would you be wrong to accept the second thousand?
    A woman starts with some intelligence and some people willing to help her expand and nurture that intelligence but she manages not to make it big (and intelligence and talent are only so helpful in America) and when she finally manages to make a break for her writing (which is that intelligence and talent finally taking a stride forward) suddenly she is a manipulative scammer.
    All I’m saying is that if you keep attacking the world with an attitude of what should be done instead of what is done you will not likely make it very far. Put yourself in her shoes, show some empathy, and realize that handling a windfall situation of this sort is difficult without half the people on the Internet calling you names for having the misfortune of being fortunate.

    • Thank you very much for the comment, Lucien.
      To be clear, did you really just describe me as “.. the ingrained, ingrown, inbred need to attack and be distrustful and to dutifully vilify leave out so much of the compassion …”????
      If you had read all three of my posts regarding this little charade, you would know the following:

      I have been in her shoes!
      I did have compassion for her plight, hence my original post!
      I may not have made it far, but I am comfortable with where I have made it, thank you very much!

      I was not the one who kept updating her original post with new information such as “…it was taken out of context..” (her poverty).
      I was not the one who changed the financial amount required at lest SIX times!

      In answer to YOUR question about offering to help me with $1000 but suddenly deciding to change it to $2000:
      Did I ask you for $2000 AFTER you gave me $1000? Did I suddenly say “No…wait, I need more! If you and others DO give me more, I will raise my limit again!” This is exactly what Linda Tirado did with her second to last post on Gofundme when she raised the goal to $100,000! She said “And so I am raising the cap to $100,000, and if this insanity doesn’t stop and we get there, I will make it $150,000. I will keep raising it by unthinkable amounts until it stops.”
      So I called it for what it was….greed.
      I am NOT attacking the world Lucien. I wanted to help, like so many thousands of people.
      The sad part of the whole thing was that by the end of her Gofundme campaign, other people who had campaigns with much, much smaller goals were latching onto her page because that was where the traffic was. The truth of the matter is, when people like Linda Tirado shamelessly do the things they do, it only ends up hurting others who are in much worse states of affairs than herself.
      Had she stuck to her original goal of $20000 (when I first saw it, might have been lower at one point), I would have cheerfully donated and wished her good luck (which is exactly what I did).
      I don’t know if she intentionally set out to do this or not, but I do know that her story did not stand up under scrutiny, and for her to do what she did was just wrong.
      But hey…that’s just my opinion. I do thank her for starting some sort of dialogue, however brief it ends up. I know that her greed pales in comparison with that of politicians of all stripes, corporations, and the vast majority of the 1%. The problems of poverty can not be solved through Gofundme. But the global economy which we as a society have embraced has left us in North America as nothing more than an outlet for cheap goods made overseas…the same ones we used to make here.

      I hope that you have an AWESOME day… 🙂

      • Ravenpaine says:

        My day will likely be anything but awesome. My days so seldom are even on the sad side of nominal. But that is just rhetoric.
        My example was to say that if many people were for some reason offering you money and there was, for some reason, a cap on the money you could receive from them, but they kept messaging you and demanding that they would find a way to give you the money? It is a rambling sentence but there is a huge difference between ASKING for money, which everyone assumes Linda was doing, or receiving money that was being donated.
        Sometimes you start out with one goal in mind and find that you can upgrade that goal based on how well things are going.
        What gets me is that of all the ways to look at the various blubberings and random wandering posts that Linda has made as this has developed everyone claims it is the fractures showing the lies beneath. It is all ‘fraud’ this and ‘scam’ that. I honestly wish for everyone that is so negative was suddenly struck with a beam of good fortune tied to public scrutiny. It is a withering and terrible light and she is doing a great job of weathering all of the negativity and inching forward.
        And my initial comment on the previous post was an ill-fated attempt at getting to this notion. How is it that people are supposed to get out of poverty when their successes are toted as fakes, their mistakes are ‘all them’ and the game is rigged to heads I win and tails you lose? It is an insane system and people have to create micro-realities to get through it.
        And most of those micro-realities are negative and involve making villains out of the innocent while they let the guilty wander off. It is ridiculous.
        You can use whatever colorful words to avoid calling someone a liar that you want but that doesn’t change that, at base, you want to see someone dragged into the street and covered with mud for doing something in a way that is different from the way you would do it. All of these so-called inconsistencies are just people taking different things in one context and others in a different context. There are questions of timelines and intensities that everyone leaves out and try to make this whole thing sound like it happened in a week and not 30 years.
        It is time that the Internet learned to take statements in a charitable fashion, i.e. to give them the most positive interpretation. I’m certainly not saying that everything or anything should be taken at face value, but the assumption that people have the first ability to be amateur detectives because they can use a search engine is insane.

      • Pay it forward says:

        That’s the problem with this whole thing: you’re not allowed to come to a rational, evidence-based conclusion without being accused of being someone who is greedy, jealous, and hates the poor.

        It’s absolute lunacy.

  7. Oh I beg your pardon. Linda did indeed ASK for money when she set up the GoFund. That is, by very definition, asking for money. I am not sure how you can twist it to be anything than what it is, Raven. She has already been debunked as a scam artist with a plethora of facts to back up and show her true colors to the media. She has purposely misrepresented herself, so let’s call her what she is – a liar.
    She stated on her Twitter page that she can’t help it if people WILLFULLY misread her essay and has since added disclaimers. She has removed any references to herself being personally poor – public relations fiasco anyone?
    Linda is and has been a paid consultant for liberal political campaigning, has been a restaurant manager (not a night cook as per her claim), and has THREE (yes count them THREE) major household incomes. Povery my ass. She doesn’t need other people’s money, she wants it. Big difference.

    As for the author of this article, bravo. Two thumbs up a and toe from me.

    Sincerely,
    Darling

    • Ravenpaine says:

      If you read the first post on her GoFundMe you will see the following phrase, “I set up a fundraiser after the first fifty people asked how they could help me write.” So she was setting up a fund where people that had asked if they could donate could in fact donate in a way that was more responsible and transparent than say having money sent to a PayPal account. She could have tried a Kickstarter campaign, which would have more controls and guarantees that she would need to finish the book project or be actionable, and you would point to that and say Ha! proves the scam! but Kickstarter also takes a larger percentage of the end cash that is raised than GoFundMe and you don’t get any of the money until after the project ends and then you have to wait upwards of a month to have the funds transferred. When you are not so full of cash that can be a really tough road to take.
      And all of this “she had been dis-bunked, it is proven that she is scammer” give me some proof? Don’t point to one mention in her life about a time or instance in which she either was not poor or didn’t feel poor and tell me that proves anything. If you really need to track down some financial records, find her on the payroll of a lobbying group. Anything that is current and factual and not the hearsay attributed to hate, jealousy, and the need to see someone who admits to being flawed and yet still thinks they deserve some kind of break getting one. I know that if her essay was, damn life is so hard but I’ve always done the right thing, then you would be all for her getting help. But “crap I have put myself into a hole and understand that I did so” that doesn’t deserve help. That deserves to be called a liar from coast to coast based on speculation that is full of evidence not on record.
      It continues to be ridiculous how angry everyone is and how much they NEED it to be the product of a scam. Why? What does it say if all of her words are true? Does it say something hideous about the system that we keep pretending to believe in or that we keep pretending works?

      • There really is no need for the logical fallacies in your response to me including being patronizing.

        I am also not sure how you assumed people are angry through this non-verbal mode of communication. I just read everything sans emotions with the exception of you posts.

        I researched and read all about the subject matter, so I suggest you do the same. I don’t need to hold your hand.

        She fully admitted her ‘misrepresentation.’ You are entitled to your opinion. Please allows others the same consideration without censure. I will not be drawn into an argument here. Thank you.

        I would wish you a good day, but the last person, who did so above, got slapped down among your negative angst.

        I will however wish you good luck.

    • That, ladies and gentlemen, is just one of the reasons she is Darling!
      😉

    • Donna Gratehouse says:

      What facts? None of you Tirado haters have produced a shred of empirical evidence that she lied about anything. Every “smoking gun” link I’ve been sent has turned out to be nothing and when pressed for details the haters are quick to abandon the “she lied about everything!” claim and move the goalposts to something else.

  8. Ravenpaine says:

    I appreciate being accused of the very same things that others are doing, yourself included, but we never can see our own errors.
    And your ‘research’ and ‘reading’ about the subject matter are large failures. I say that because you have reached all of the wrong conclusions so I assume you must have read and researched all of the wrong things.
    Of particular worry to me is that whenever anyone sens a link to their views of poverty or their poverty narrative to Linda she links back to them and responds to them. What kind of elaborate scam keeps the person performing such misdeeds right in the open? Is not the point of most scams to mislead? Why would you mislead and then stand there answering criticisms and supporting opposing views?
    It is frustrating dealing with people in the medium of words because of how poorly so many people read (and you can either read yourself into or out of that phrase, it is a general universal statement). Everyone wants to keep their opinion going so they will highlight the words that do that and ignore the others.
    I am angry. I am an angry sad person that sees a world that could be so much better than this one and then I have to spend all of my time watching people fail to achieve any kind of success because they go about it wrong.
    What touched me in particular about Linda’s original essay was how self-effacing it was. It merely stated that people are human and being human is no reason to be cast down or shunned. And people responded to that.
    Then, people decided that because she wasn’t being cast down and shunned for her various mistakes that they would take the time to do it. And my question continues to be why?

    • Pay it forward says:

      But … Look at her jezebel blog post from October http://groupthink.jezebel.com/dear-hivemind-1443909523

      She’s a homeowner asking for tips on how to elaborately decorate her kids’ room. I mean … Come ON. This is a scam, pure and simple…

    • Pay it forward says:

      The whole stereotype-laden blog post was the fantasy of a middle class stay at home mom / scammer.

    • Pay it forward says:

      The logic that what she did is okay because her lies brought attention to the poor is just completely flawed.

      I mean, is it okay that George W. Bush’s lies brought attention to the Middle East and deposed Saddam Hussein? Come on.

    • Donna Gratehouse says:

      I sometimes misread things myself but in the case of Tirado’s essay it was clear to me that she was making observations both past and present and personal as well general. That’s why all the hand-waving about “inconsistencies!” is ludicrous to me.

      People are either lacking in reading comprehension or just looking for reasons to disbelieve the account of a woman. I feel the ugliness hurled at Tirado is rooted in misogyny and age-old myths about the unreliability and instability of women. Notice how no one has questioned the author of this blog’s account of his own hardships. He’s a man, thus automatically credible.

      • It was NOT clear to anyone else, that is why the several ‘updates’ to clarify her original work of creative writing!
        MISOGYNY?
        Oh my dear little bunny rabbit diva…. A much better woman than yourself once accused me of that. Thanks so much for ripping open that particular little wound. really! i hope that you are happy now that you have me missing her ALL over again! I think I will start up a ‘gofundme’ page…a couple of days in Vegas will make me fell better!
        Good day to you!

      • ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????
        the reason no one has questioned my accounts are thus:
        I NEVER ASKED FOR ANYONES MONEY!!!!!

        I really am not in the mood right now to articulate an argument with someone who accuses me of being a hater! I directed people to support Linda Tirado! I donated to her! I BELIEVED HER!
        WHY did she keep raising her goal to ridiculous amounts?????
        ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THIS TIRADO NONSENSE!!!

      • And you ooze credibility with your ‘down with common sense’ diatribe. Stop before I get any on me. I am just not worthy.
        And before you try to blow your venomous stink my way, this is a lecture not a debate.
        Thanks for playing.

        ~Darling

  9. You have publicly declared me wrong, therefore I must be wrong!
    The world is now safe from the likes of me. You have done your civic duty. I shan’t attempt at being a free thinker again. I am dutifully shamed. Thank you kindly.

    ~D

    • P.s. you can have the last word/slap down. I am okay with it – really. And good luck with your anger issues.

      • Ravenpaine says:

        Actually I popped by your site and read some of your bits. They are terrific. I like a good back and forth letter writing as a way of telling a narrative, especially a narrative with romantic over/undertones.
        Yes. I have reacted with more than a little anger at this situation. And yes, I have been biting with some of my commentary. Imagine if the things you wrote on the Internet were given to scrutiny and you had thousands of people angry at you and slandering your every word. That would suck.
        You called my logic flawed, but did not point out where that was. You also took offense with my already stated bad attitude as if my not accepting of a wish to have a good day is somehow a negative. I personally find it offensive when someone starts out by insulting me and then in the end smiles and wishes me well. It comes across as less than sincere. As, I suspect, many of the things I’m saying to you be they positive or negative. It is a problem of confirmation bias.
        And the same kind of negative dismissal I gave you is the type of thing so many feel perfectly justified in giving to Linda Tirado despite the fact that she has done her best to answer comments and be approachable.
        The system is unfair. Typing on the Internet is unfair. Let’s all work to make it more fair. And to do better than the example I am setting, which falls short because I am flawed, sad, and angry.

  10. Hi Raven

    I am not sure that this debate needs more hyperbole. Having said that I see it’s time to add my own. Let me start with the good.

    Thank you for your kind words on our WordPress endeavours. I reference to your opposing viewpoint I have to say that I admire your desire to take a contrary view It is often a great way to throw further light on a debate that may be one sided or too emotionally charged for people to discuss objectively.

    However I think my Darling’s suggestion that your arguments contain too much logical fallacy has much merit. Now I am both too lazy and too tired to give examples from your replies but what I will do is link a poster that neatly explains them in an easy to digest form.

    I would however suggest you filter your arguments through the definitions of “special pleading”, “ad hominem”, “genetic” and “burden of proof” as discussed so ably in the link above and then decide if you think you should continue to apply them in the manner you have chosen.

    I have also taken some time to peruse your blog. You obviously have some skill as a writer but your desire to be clever and obtuse cloud your ability to communicate in a clear and easy to digest manner. Your overblown contrivances are a hindrance and not a help to your narratives. In reality what you have written appears convoluted and verbose. There is no evident reason for you to do this except to maybe demonstrate your superior knowledge of the English language.

    That was my polite assessment of what I read. However you have made me more than a little annoyed at your attacks on my Darling. She is clearly more than capable of defending herself and has done so with relative ease so I am just going to go straight to the insult. It seems there has been a penchant for referencing great authors so let me slip in a note from one of the greatest authors ever to put quill to parchment. I would describe both you and your blog thus:

    a poor player
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
    And then is heard no more: it is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing..

    Regards
    Sir

    • Oh Raven….Sir just went Macbeth on you!!!

      I must say, discourse or not, I do enjoy reading comments from people who are intelligent and can string together more than four words!
      So much of my day is spent working with people who live vicariously through overpaid sports celebrities…

    • My Dear Sir,
      Raven learned something! He read up on logical fallacies (using the link so generously provided by you), and he used one in his rant on the Ann R Brocklehurst site yesterday (the 29th of November). It was his first attempt at using a logical fallacy during his endless diatribe. Unfortunately, he used it incorrectly.
      I am impressed Sir. You not only led the horse to water, but he did drink. Kudos.
      ~ Your Darling

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